Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

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    mattshock
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    Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:30 am

    Hello all GMHockey Members!

    I need your help! I've drafted up what I believe to be a pretty air-tight set of rules (not for the GM Central league this time), but for myself. I'm a fairly masochistic person, constantly challenging myself to give up the things I enjoy to see if I can make it, and torturing myself for my shortcomings.

    As a University student, there are two places I often get hit hard over the course of a term: my wallet, and my gut. The constant partying, booze, beer, and pizza will do that to a guy. I often put on as much as 20 pounds per term and am forced to undergo many weeks of low-carbing (aka, diet hell, but it works) to lose that weight on my work terms.

    Anyways, last term I wrote up a list of rules/repercussions to try and keep myself on track. They failed miserably and weren't enforced at all. This term, I want to change that.

    If anyone has any comments / critiques / suggestions or ideas to throw in, I need them badly!!

    My goals for the term that are to be achieved by the following policy are:
    1) Maintain high grades
    2) Stay rested (going out less)
    3) Save money (spend less on entertainment)
    4) Still have fun. I'm only young once, and I get the most out of my time. By no means do I want to cut myself off from partying and drinking irresponsibly, I just want to do it in the most economic and portioned way possible. I could probably up my average to the 90s if I wanted to, but it would compromise my alcoholism, and that just won't do.
    5) Not gain weight. The frosh-15 is no myth. It's a cold Wing Dang Doodle of truth, and the fourth-year-40 is what I'm trying to avoid.

    Without further ado, (and I cut/pasted this from the e-mail I sent my roommate last night, so excuse context):

    Remember those rules I made last term to try and drink less and spend less money??

    Well, they're back!! We both know how the rules crashed and burned last term. We boozed and we partied as hard as ever (minus beer baseball, sadly).

    Now that we're living farther away from Ari and Salim and closer to people who actually have lives (Graham, Andi, Arjun), it's going to be increasingly difficult to stay sober and not fail out.

    That's why I've modified the rules. I've learned from last terms' failure, and am moving forward with the following plan:

    Rule #1: All booze will be purchased ahead of time. I'm not sharing a drop with anyone, and I'm allocating myself 4 fourties for the term. A modestly greater supply than last term. In advance of the term, I shall purchase fourties of: Golden Wedding (whiskey), Bacardi White (rum), Absolut (vodka), and Beefeater (gin).
    - This is a cost saving measure. Booze given to me is completely fine, as long as I don't pay for it in any way. People who own me financial reimbursement who repay me in booze, if I choose to accept, violate this rule and I'd be subject to punishment.
    Rule #2: In keeping with trying to stay slim, I'm cutting down on the beer BIG TIME. I put on a LOT of weight last term that I've worked very hard to lose. I'm not about to go back to putting it on now. I'm going to purchase TWO 24s for the term. That is 48 beers for the better part of 120 days. Yeah. I haven't decided on what brand they will be, but they probably won't be cheapies. Count me out of the beer pong lads.
    - Differing from Rule #1, freebies don't count. It's 48 and it's a hard cap.
    Rule #3: Bar money. Oh god did I spend way too much at the bars last term. I'm setting aside $300 for the bar. I'm putting it in a little jar and it will be the only cash I spend at bars this term.
    - Molly's counts as a bar. This money includes drinks AND food, but only applies to money spent in recreational establishments. Does not include money spent on food at lunch (including Bomber).
    Rule #4: And now, the big one. This one is new, and it's NOT going to be easy. I am giving up, completely, 100%, cold-turkey, wait for it:.......................pizza. (you thought I was going to say WoW didn't you!?) That's right. We ate WAY too much pizza last term and it caught up with me big time. This term I am not going to eat a single slice of italian pie, no sir!! Even when I'm drunk!!!!
    - warnings must be given if you notice I'm about to eat pizza. Judgement call on the amount of being drunk. If I'm completely Diddle, we'll understandably let this slide.

    Of course, the punishments are in order. I'm pretty sure I won't need them, but let's do it anyways. You are the official punishment commissioner, and all authority is yours, but first I'm laying down some caveats. The punishments WILL be serious, and I want to make sure that I'm done by fairly here.
    Caveats: Any rule breaking must be done willingly and knowingly. For example, if we're at the bar and I happen to have extra change in my pockets from earlier that day, and don't realize I'm overspending, it doesn't count. In order to be punished for that, I'd have to go to an atm and take out extra money.
    Caveat: Warning must be given if a pending punishment is observed. If you see me about to do something that goes against my rules, you MUST warn me. If it is deemed after the fact that you had fair chance to warn me and didn't, I'm off the hook.
    Caveat: B.O.A.T races. All bets are off for the races. I can drink as much beer, spend money not included in bar fund, and eat pizza if I so desire (I'll probably puke it up anyways).
    Caveat: pizza can be consumed ONLY if it is deemed a life/death situation.

    Term of rules applying: Start to end of lectures. I'll trust myself to drink responsibly during exams, and I can eat pizza if I want. Who has time to cook during exams?

    Moving onto the punishments. Feel free to modify these if you have any ideas of your own, but they need to be good enough to make me think twice before buying that extra drink at the bar or that extra case of beer.

    Repercussion #1: For every 6 ounces (rounding) purchased in excess of the 160 purchased in advance of the term, one open handed slap to the back is to be received. (A mickey counts as 2 slaps, a 24 would be 4, a fourty would be 7, etc.) It is to be bare-backed, and windup/running into it is allowed. Also, it must be videotaped and distributed at your discretion. A minimum five minute buffer is permitted, but I'm allowed to waive it if I so choose. Any slaps given while I'm not prepared for it will forfeit all remaining slaps and I will be permitted to slap you twice bare-backed for illegal slappage.
    Repercussion #2: For each beer purchased in excess of the 48 specifed in Rule #2, I have to stand under the shower (completely engulfed in the water) on it's coldest setting for one minute. I do not necessarily have to do this all in one session, as health may be a concern (hypothermia is no laughing matter), but sessions must either be served to their entirety or a minimum of 5 minutes at a time. It is up to me to determine if I've had enough. Any modification of the temperature constitutes a forfeit of that current minute. for example, if I'm in the shower for 1 minute 55 seconds and get out, it counts as 1 minute only. Timekeeper must provide time updates when requested by me without lying. Time doesn't start until Punishment Commissioner deems it cold enough, but I don't have to be standing in it until this time either. If clock is not started immediately (ie, within 1 second), a minute of time will be awarded. This is to prevent some jackass from not starting to clock on time. Boxers are permitted to be worn, but they are the only clothes that are permitted. Flow of water must be on either the head, shoulders, or chest.
    Repercussion #3: Now this one is going to be a bit more difficult to track. How can we determine if the money I'm spending at the bar is from the budget or not? You might not always be with me to keep track. To this effect, I'm going to try and always carry "bar money" in a special clip around with me. It will be in a separate pocket, and I can swap out my "casual spending money" for "bar money" when I go out. Also, I'll try and leave my Interac card at home when going out. For each $20 (anything less is rounded up to $20 and anything over is rounded to the nearest $20 denomination) spent in excess of the budget, I have to go one week without playing WoW. This includes logging in for my banker. Guildies will be pertinent to my embarassing situation.
    Repercussion #4: There is really only one thing I could think of that would seem fitting. If I eat pizza, I'm compelled to purchase dinner for you. And you get to pick where it is. And I have to eat it. Yes, I'm talking about sushi. Try and be a decent human being and not make me eat yacks Donkey or something. If I'm gagging and puking while trying to get it down I'm exempt from Repercussion (including paying the bill). So try and keep it tasteful. Dinner cannot exceed $60 including drinks for the two of us.

    All repercussions must be completed by midnight on the last day of exams or I'm exempt from punishment.

    Now, this term to ensure I actually do this, I propose we type this up officially and sign it on January 4th, the day before lectures start.

    Feel free to make any changes you see fit, or identify any grey areas where things might become convoluded.

    Cheers, to higher grades and staying slim,
    Matt

    Try and have fun with it, but remember, the goals are real, and repercussions must be realistic as well.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by The Silfer Server on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:02 pm

    I'm the last person you should ask about how to stay slim, but i was pretty good at saving money. The one thing I managed to do was to cut restaurants out of my life completely. That's any fast food. I don't even own a microwave anymore. This will force you to cook everything yourself, which is healthier and cheaper. You end up feeling better, you don't feel that groggy tired as often either.

    This next tip is a little unhealthy, but it does save you money. If I'm going to be drinking, then I skip dinner. I'm a big guy, and it takes a lot for me to get drunk. Skipping a meal before drinking gets you drunk quicker, so you won't have to spend as much on booze.

    I would also extend my pre-drink. By spending less time at the bar, you're spending less on their expensive booze. Getting drunker at home will save you money on the booze that you will consume anyway, and then when you do reach the bar, you won't need as much to keep yourself going.

    If all else fails, become a mormon.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:10 pm

    Empty stomach is definitely something I've practiced a time or two. You get more bang for your buck, but getting completely bombed isn't necessarily always the plan (note: 'always'). In addition, it usually ends badly.

    Pre-drink is so key.

    One of my best friends became a mormon. He is no longer an acquaintance at all. I think he went on some "mission" or something, and changed his name. We haven't heard from him in a while. He used to be just like any other guy. Weird.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by wprager on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:10 pm

    Well, it's not as long as that joke, but I don't get the punchline at all.

    Seriously, though, I am now beginning to understand why all the students are whining about tuition costs. When I went to university (and I was there 9 freakin' years!) I lived with my parents, took the bus downtown, and the only booze for me was at the (free) wine-and-cheese parties thrown by the faculties once in a while. At the start of every new semester I sold all my books at the used book store and tried to purchase as many books 2nd hand as possible. I lived off scholarships and some summertime employment. I even ended up buying my parents their first colour TV with half my salary of a summer camp lifeguarding gig. My two big splurges included buying a computer (it had about the same horsepower as you would find in a Tamagotchi today, but it still ran around $900 without a montior), and a trip to Spring Break in Daytona (9 guys in a hotel room -- not exactly deluxe accomodations).
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:15 pm

    TermTuitionOverallRoomMeal Plan
    Fall 2005$3,477.00$8,248.93$2,561.00$1,700.00$3,987.93
    Spring 2006$3,616.00$7,717.93$1,707.00$1,440.00$4,570.93
    Winter 2007$3,616.00$4,586.24$0.00$0.00$4,586.24
    Fall 2007$3,761.00$4,825.38$0.00$0.00$4,825.38
    Spring 2008$3,911.00$4,999.38$0.00$0.00$4,999.38
    Winter 2009$3,911.00$4,988.82$0.00$0.00$4,988.82

    How do those numbers look?
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:16 pm

    And it wasn't a joke. His name was Jordan, and we haven't heard from him since first year.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:19 pm

    Let me clarify those numbers:

    The ones highlighted in yellow are what I pay to attend lectures for a four month period.

    It doesn't include anything else. No "printing", "parking pass", "athletic fee", "food", "room and board", "books", or anything like that. Those are the dollars for me to be in the room and write the exams. Everything else is extra.

    EDIT: The difference between tuition and the yellow column are non-refundable "adminstrative fees" btw.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by wprager on Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:50 pm

    mattshock wrote:Let me clarify those numbers:

    The ones highlighted in yellow are what I pay to attend lectures for a four month period.

    It doesn't include anything else. No "printing", "parking pass", "athletic fee", "food", "room and board", "books", or anything like that. Those are the dollars for me to be in the room and write the exams. Everything else is extra.

    EDIT: The difference between tuition and the yellow column are non-refundable "adminstrative fees" btw.

    There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that tuition has gone up tremendously. However even in my time there were different ways to go about it. My wife ended up with three degrees and a student load she ended up paying for 10 years. Scholarships didn't hurt me, for sure, but there were other differences. Like I said, I lived at my parents, I did not go out (at least not any more than I did in highschool), I did not party (again, not any more than before). And I don't have 10 boxes in the basement full of textbooks that will never again be cracked open. I saw quite a few of my friends in university follow a different path. Fair enough. I got out debt free, they didn't.

    By the way, we've got RESPs set up for all of our kids, which is not something my parents did for me. I doubt your parents did any of that either, since that only started about 10-15 years ago. So our kids will definitely have something to start with, but are also definitely going to make it as easy as possible for them to stay home (which means, yes, less partying around). Believe it or not, there's still lots of time left to party after university.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:02 pm

    This conversation has become skewed. I was hoping for input on potential punishments, or someone spotting loopholes in my policy.

    As for my textbooks, I keep them, but I buy the used. I usually only spend $50 or less on a book, and I only need one or two max per term. I reference my old books all the time, so I wouldn't want to get rid of them. Even some of my first year books come in handy now and again.

    I won't be graduating debt free, but for a five year program, I'm projecting to be around $10K in debt. Not too shabby considering.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by wprager on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:14 pm

    mattshock wrote:This conversation has become skewed. I was hoping for input on potential punishments, or someone spotting loopholes in my policy.

    As for my textbooks, I keep them, but I buy the used. I usually only spend $50 or less on a book, and I only need one or two max per term. I reference my old books all the time, so I wouldn't want to get rid of them. Even some of my first year books come in handy now and again.

    I won't be graduating debt free, but for a five year program, I'm projecting to be around $10K in debt. Not too shabby considering.

    Sorry. I was actually going for the old Monty Python "Four Yorkshiremen" skit.

    When I was young discs were square and TV's were round, and you went to school six days a week (true, in my case, for grades 1-5).
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by The Silfer Server on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:29 pm

    oh something else to save money, instead of going to Timmy's, buy a coffee machine. You can get one for under $20 at Canadian Tire. In the long run it'll save you money

    And in terms on another punishment, tape the next game Gerber plays, and as a punishment, you'll have to watch it over and over again. That'll teach you.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by PTFlea on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:40 pm

    I'll gladly beat the Dung out of you. So many people in their 20s (mid to late for sure) go bankrupt because of this kind of thing.

    You want punishment? Wait until you simply can't pay Visa bills - or bills period. It'll come, don't even bother arguing about that.

    The first time you can't make ends meet and you need to go see mommy and daddy to borrow money is the punishment for being dumb. Stop going out to bars and pubs, stop going to movies (rent if you need).

    Begin the month with a budget, go from there.

    I used to frequent Sens games, buy 100s of CDs, then DVDs, then I'd buy some bootlegs, then I'd buy a nice chair to watch them in, etc. etc. etc. You can run out pretty quick...

    My suggestion - cut the excess out before you run into a wall.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by mattshock on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:44 pm

    dirtydirtynorth wrote:oh something else to save money, instead of going to Timmy's, buy a coffee machine. You can get one for under $20 at Canadian Tire. In the long run it'll save you money

    And in terms on another punishment, tape the next game Gerber plays, and as a punishment, you'll have to watch it over and over again. That'll teach you.

    Last year one of my punishments was we had America's Next Top Model on TiVo (from the girls who had lived in the house the term previous), and I had to watch the entire season. In reverse order. That was hell.

    And I have a coffee machine. I can't imagine living without it :D
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by wprager on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:54 pm

    504Heater wrote:I'll gladly beat the Dung out of you. So many people in their 20s (mid to late for sure) go bankrupt because of this kind of thing.

    You want punishment? Wait until you simply can't pay Visa bills - or bills period. It'll come, don't even bother arguing about that.

    The first time you can't make ends meet and you need to go see mommy and daddy to borrow money is the punishment for being dumb. Stop going out to bars and pubs, stop going to movies (rent if you need).

    Begin the month with a budget, go from there.

    I used to frequent Sens games, buy 100s of CDs, then DVDs, then I'd buy some bootlegs, then I'd buy a nice chair to watch them in, etc. etc. etc. You can run out pretty quick...

    My suggestion - cut the excess out before you run into a wall.

    And I thought *I* was a cranky old guy Smile

    In Matt's defense, Heater, he *is* plannign a budget. Now, his budget includes items like $300 for bars, and stocking up on ridiculous amounts of liquor, but it is a budget none-the-less.
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    Re: Calling for Help! Editting Matt's Policy

    Post by PTFlea on Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:57 pm

    wprager wrote:
    And I thought *I* was a cranky old guy Smile

    In Matt's defense, Heater, he *is* plannign a budget. Now, his budget includes items like $300 for bars, and stocking up on ridiculous amounts of liquor, but it is a budget none-the-less.

    :D

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