Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

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    SensGirl11
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    Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

    Post by SensGirl11 on Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:52 pm

    Hello all, I'm just posting this for fun, I got a few laughs out of it and thought we could all use a little chuckle today.


    PRICELESS
    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE


    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .


    3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.


    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.


    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
    She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.


    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'


    8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.


    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'


    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.


    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always


    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
    I said, 'Dust!'


    Last edited by SensGirl11 on Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    PTFlea
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    Re: Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

    Post by PTFlea on Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:55 pm

    Laughing3

    Funny stuff.
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    wprager
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    Re: Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

    Post by wprager on Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:29 pm

    Love it, but you need to fix #11 -- it's missing the punchline.

    I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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