Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

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    Tuk Tuk
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Tuk Tuk on Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:02 pm


    shabbs
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by shabbs on Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:45 am

    HA HA!

    We call those "Jewellry moves".

    Wink

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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by wprager on Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:48 am

    A caddy pulls up to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. "Gomer" runs up to the driver's side to ask the driver what's his pleasure.

    He notices some golf tees on the dashboard and asks what they are. The driver replies, "Well, son, I use this to rest the balls on when driving."

    Gomer walks back and mutters to himself, "Those Caddy people, they think of everything."
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by wprager on Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:52 am

    shabbs wrote:HA HA!

    We call those "Jewellry moves".

    Wink

    Which reminds me of that fake People's Jewlery ad with the shadow of a man giving a woman a diamond (from Family Guy, I think), and the end caption "A diamond -- she'll pretty much have to" as the woman, you know.

    Let me see if I find it quickly:



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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Guest on Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:12 am



    The 'Deram' should be a pri-Mary skool Edumacation.
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by wprager on Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:22 am

    That's just as good as that misspelled School sign:



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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Tuk Tuk on Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:10 pm

    this isnt so much funny as creepy





    look at the top right corner, then the date.
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by wprager on Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:50 pm

    I don't think the date is the date of publication -- it's an insert for popbytes. That said, I *do* remember someone saying he was in very bad health and could be gone in six months. I actually think it was more recent than January.


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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by shabbs on Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:58 am

    HA HA!



    Oops!
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by wprager on Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:17 am

    Bet it's supposed to be pronounced like Crea[te] Mass. Just like Tobias Funke's business card was supposed to be pronounced like Anal[yst]/[The]rapist:



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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by shabbs on Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:21 am

    wprager wrote:Bet it's supposed to be pronounced like Crea[te] Mass. Just like Tobias Funke's business card was supposed to be pronounced like Anal[yst]/[The]rapist:
    For sure...

    Crea[tine]Mass...

    Love that card...

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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Tuk Tuk on Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:15 pm


    A Bad
    Time For Honesty

    Just imagine sitting in
    traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Chicago folks DID hear this
    on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where they award
    winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call
    someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with
    someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3
    random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the
    name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner
    answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One
    particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders
    drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard
    yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

    DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM.
    Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?"
    Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
    DJ: "Great! Then you know we're
    giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First
    name only please."

    Contestant: "Brian."
    DJ: "Brian, are you married or
    what?"

    Brian: "Yes."
    DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're
    married or you're what?"

    Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
    DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your
    wife's name? First only please."

    Brian: "Sara."
    DJ: "Is Sara at work,
    Brian?"

    Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
    DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is
    she at work?"

    Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
    DJ: "Okay, first question - when
    was the last time you had sex?"

    Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
    DJ: "Brian! Stay with me
    here!"

    Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
    DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
    Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
    DJ: "Question #2 - How long did
    it last?"

    Brian: "About 10 minutes."
    DJ: "Wow! You really want that
    trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

    Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
    DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where
    did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

    Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
    DJ: "This sounds good, Brian.
    Where was it at?"

    Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us
    for a couple of weeks..."
    DJ: "Uh huh..."
    Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
    DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
    Brian: "On the kitchen table."
    DJ: "Not that great?? That is
    more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I
    will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You
    listen to this."-3 minutes of commercials follow

    DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"(touch tones....
    ringing....)
    Clerk: "Kinkos."
    DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
    Clerk: "This is she."
    DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and
    I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
    Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of
    hours?"

    DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
    give any answers away o r you'll lose. So do you know the rules of 'MateMatch'?"
    Sarah: "No."
    DJ: "Good!"
    Brian: (laughing)
    Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
    Brian (laughing) "Just answer his
    questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
    DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
    your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to
    Orlando , Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the
    Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
    Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
    DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
    Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this
    morning before Brian went to work."

    DJ: "What time?"
    Sarah: "Around 8 this
    morning."

    DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
    Sarah: "12, 15 minutes
    maybe."

    DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
    manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a
    trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
    Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
    DJ: "Where did you have it?"
    Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You
    didn't tell them that, did you?"

    Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
    DJ: "What is bothering you so
    much, Sarah?"

    Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
    DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you
    have it?

    Sarah: "Up the Donkey....."



    After a long pause, the DJ said, "OK Folks, we need to take a station
    break......

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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Guest on Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:06 am


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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Guest on Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:34 am



    Last edited by MurderOnIce on Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Tuk Tuk on Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:32 pm

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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Tuk Tuk on Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:47 am


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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Guest on Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:55 am




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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

    Post by Guest on Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:14 am

    This from the auditions for the talent show Russian's Got Talent.

    No different than America's got Talent or Britain's got Talent.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv6qxC4IToU

    It starts off slow...but just wait for the ending. :KKK: :^^^: Shocked!

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    Re: Tickle my funnybone. NOW!

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