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Christmas Laughs

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1 Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:30 pm

SensGirl11

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I'm getting a bunch of e-mails as I'm sure everyone else here is too. I thought we could post some of the ones that are too funny not to pass on.

Here's the first one that had me laughing out loud.





Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies


[size=18]1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila


Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.


Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.



If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table..

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.


Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
Cherry Mistmas !




Last edited by SensGirl11 on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:12 pm; edited 2 times in total

2 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:08 pm

PTFlea

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Laughing3

3 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:13 pm

PTFlea

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I like that one too.

4 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:14 pm

SensGirl11

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That's a good one too!

5 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:16 pm

SensGirl11

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6 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:18 pm

beedub

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Nah, the Jose Cuervo one still takes the cake

7 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:19 pm

SensGirl11

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The good news is that I truly out did myself this year. The bad news is that I had to take the dummy down after 2 days.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents, because they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house. She didn't realize it was dummy until she climbed to the top, and she was not amused. She was one of many who attempted a rescue -- I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up on my yard.

8 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:20 pm

SensGirl11

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9 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:33 pm

PTFlea

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Laughing3 Oh that's great.

10 Re: Christmas Laughs on Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:49 pm

Riprock

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^^^Peter, is that you?^^^ haha

11 Re: Christmas Laughs on Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:07 pm

SensGirl11

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It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The
students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more
to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an
early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask,
first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here.
I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years
Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham
Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question
first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther
King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can
do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F.
Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer
to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these Wing Dang Doodle would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

12 Re: Christmas Laughs on Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:25 pm

beedub

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That's good!

13 Re: Christmas Laughs on Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:34 pm

PTFlea

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Dash wrote:^^^Peter, is that you?^^^ haha

Admittedly, that's probably something that could happen to me. Ahhhhh!

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