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Favorite silly jokes!

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1Favorite silly jokes! Empty Favorite silly jokes! on Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:10 pm

wprager

wprager
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I'll start:


Knock-knock.
- Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
- "Interrupting c..."
MOOOO!


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

2Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:12 pm

wprager

wprager
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Here's one that's not PC (but the word filter will "fix" it)

What's red, sits in a tree and goes "Meow"?
- A challenged apple.


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

3Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:21 am

tim1_2

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Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics...even if you win, you're still challenged.

4Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:23 am

tim1_2

tim1_2
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That's what she said.

5Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:24 am

wprager

wprager
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Administrator
What's the difference between a bus: Yes or No?


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

6Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:25 pm

SensHulk

SensHulk
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this one never gets old...

Favorite silly jokes! 3

7Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:35 pm

spader

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wprager wrote:What's the difference between a bus: Yes or No?
I love it. Laughing3

8Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:47 pm

wprager

wprager
Administrator
Administrator
Just found this one. Not silly, but pretty funny:

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was happy, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

9Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:48 pm

wprager

wprager
Administrator
Administrator
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

10Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:22 pm

The Silfer Server

The Silfer Server
Veteran
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Just read this beauty on reddit:

"A young boy walks into a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

11Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:25 pm

Hoags

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I have a weakness for puns:

Favorite silly jokes! Xms5S

12Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:27 pm

wprager

wprager
Administrator
Administrator
A pun is its own re-word.


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

13Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:24 am

Flo The Action

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this doesn't consist on telling a joke but it was one thing I did at a couple of parties as a teen. this works only in winter when the heatrs are on close to full blast. (and you don't especially like the persons house you're partying at)

1. enjoy your first beer of the nighttalk to people, walk around and when the beer is almost over go to the can.

2. while in the can, carefully piss in the bottle without getting any on your hands

3. walk out of the bathroom, act all cool and all and slowly walk on over to the heaters.
4 this works best when the heaters are behind something such as the sofa or curtains.... deposit the beer.

5 sit back enjoy a few beers and leave when you're done.

6 depending on the kind of heaters your dealing with but within 3 to 10 hours they'll be a wicked smell coming from that room. hot Piss is not a nice smell but it's funny in the kind of funny where the jokes not on you.

I was a troubled teen Sarcasm


we also pissed in a bottle another time at a house party and passed the bottles to one guy i really detested.... ooohhh he swigged on that one hard. I cryed laughing i remember.

14Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:15 am

wprager

wprager
Administrator
Administrator
And now, re-read the story while looking at Flo's current avatar.


_________________
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Dicky Fox

15Favorite silly jokes! Empty Re: Favorite silly jokes! on Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:34 am

Flo The Action

Flo The Action
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wprager wrote:And now, re-read the story while looking at Flo's current avatar.
yeah would be funny if BM had a secret dark prankster side.

speaking of i still do put half bananas(already peeled) inside some of my friends boots. they don't notice it until they stick their feel all the way in. By that time the banana is mooshed against the interior. it's always good for a giggle. would probably work well in skates as well.

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